'Sigh* so tired...

Relationship should helps you to be a better person, not hurting you…

yes that one particular relationship has undermine everything that you used to had… It was quite amazing that particular person who once declared unconditional love but then it turns out it all lies lies lies… just a pretentious fat lie..

Ngaku teruna konon, but it turns out… kantoi porn maniac loves splurging for those ‘special massages’ then to the person who patiently waited at home with hot meal cooked just for him… I would never thought you are that insecure. 
Sudahnya... I'm the one who have to run here and there, wasting my time to make sure that I didn't caught any of those nasty germs from your stupid addiction... jahat!! I hope you are having fun burned in hell!
Curiosly, my people also put the blame in me, that was how good you are in pretending innocent. 

Perfect marriage??? hahahahaa

My version of a perfect marriage..

What ever happens I must stand strong behind my man.

I will never cheat on him.

I will be a person with a pure heart,

dedicate my life for my man and for my marriage.         

I’ll work hard to be very patient

although the short-tempered genetic is running in my family.

I’ll do anything for my marriage,

I’ll never spill a word of any weakness nor wickedness of my man.

I’ve done this, I really work on my marriage…

but how am I suppose to resist the interference from his parents.

Those arrogant rich and yet stingy chinese and mamak people..

They been totally unfair and cruel…

Such a sick family...

my car, my barang kemas, you have nothing to do with it...

such a horrible experience.. that fatty someone is such a greedy crazy man.. he put the house for rent already, unbelievable? we are still legally married and the parents simply said, we'll better find a non-muslim who don't really knew about syariah laws and convert her, a better wife option for you.. such a crazy parents..
luckily Allah helps me alot..
still it was horrible... I'm still alive and living in this house, but he and his parents simply wants to get rid of me. last time they told Johan to not get a lawyer, but now different story, worse the lawyer was trying to push me to sign a sulh agreement.. seriusly? they listed all the jewelry the relatives gave to me, please note, relatives ya not he himself.. do you know how arrogont he was? During family dinner he told them and his aunts that I'll be very happy because he also gave a a very beautiful bracelet... I was all touchy and happy and all excited, he seems like treating me well, but then few days later, that things was actually just a very cheap white gold. and it was a baby walking anklet.. I just keep quite.. few weeks later I ask, why you gave me a white gold wedding band... I might alergic to it.. it was even dull dont even shine, I wonder if its not actually gold... he and his mum just simply lied to me so that they can brag around
using that much money..
and he wants to get rid of me asap, I was ordered to return to house keys, Sierramas tag, and my car asap
such a crazy man.

My dear diary

I have totally forgotten that I had you.. sorry... I wish I didn't, since you always are always here to make me felt better… and you never betray me... unlike that someone who declared that he will never let me down forever.

But something happen, apparently, someone manage to trace you back to me, I have no idea how he found out about our relationship, shocking isn't it..

but at the bright side, at least his scary hacking skills or what ever it was, reminds me of you.. now I reallize how I miss you soo much!!!

Anyway, this morning, i found this paragraph that Chandra wrote... kena batang hidung tu… bull's eye.

"Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.-(Chandra’s brilliant pick-me-up phrases that struck me like lightning)"

I really wish I realize earlier how I was struggling to accept his actual attitude, how different it was in public vs in private and at the same time doing the right thing..

To fight for my spot, to make him realize that this is a responsibility not just a fun game, but I fail when his people pull him back, go against me, undermining my opinion no matter how important it was.

Cool down girl, que sera sera… this is for the best. At least you stick with your job.. masha-Allah, I can’t believe I almost quit my job at their request.

Now let us call this new person Mr TskTsk... if you're reading this, I hope you are enjoying it.. 

jom migrate anywhere oversea, but not Tokyo, its too crowded and not enough space for children... I heard Australia or NZ is a good place, to raise children... 

if I adopt a son from JKM, will you treat him like your own, love him unconditionally... hmm? hmm?

*Sigh* since the cover has already blown, perhaps I should just close this page isk isk huhuu…

Kelisa @ Arowana di Bukit Merah...

Perasan tak area Bukit Merah terutama di sepanjang Hiway PLUS, anda boleh lihat berpuluh-puluh kolam ikan baru utk penternakan Kelisa @ Arowana.

Apple sago

Amboi-amboi, you ate ice-cream at midnite, you sugar level sky-rocket and you put the blame ..on my burger dinner & apple sago dessert... and yet you call me pretentious. you do know that it is impossible for me to forget what you've done to me in Sydney yaa...
Not only you treat me like a stranger, you make me feel so lonely and upset, waste my time, energy, and annual leave. Just because you are surrounded by your famili and relatives, and I have nobody there, it doesn't mean that you can bully me.
Go on... lie to everybody, make people think everything is solely my fault...I don't care anymore.. lie as much as you want to, I don't want to have anything to do with it..
I only want to get over all this thing..
*sigh*

Calorie count for yesterday...

2 slices rock melon      196
macaroni tuna mayo     694
6 piece steam crab dimsum 200
1 bowl of steam sweet pea    117
spaghetti chicken bologna 290
a scoop of Walls selection's mocha ice-cream
3 piece of lamb chop      510
1/2 piece boiled sweet potato 296
1 slice of chocolate cheese cake   420

Isk isk... now that I list it down, yesterday's food seem like a suicidal attempt... errr... hahahahaa....
approximately 2723 kcal before counting the ice cream (cant find it)...and my calorie intake target is only 1600 perday... hahahaahaa...